What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Heavy rains suspend play at US Open, raising the possibility of a Monday finish to the final round - CNN

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What do you mean son?

Why aren't U.S. prisons more like Marine Corps boot camp, were every second of the day there are mandatory activities so that at night everyone is so tired they go to sleep until wakeup at 5:30 am? Would this make prisons safer for all?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What! how could you do that?

True - how I loved my mum!

I supercharged Google search with a three-key shortcut with custom results - Android Police

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Is Jesus God almighty?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What is the meanest thing your husband has said to you?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”